


Ignorance and consequences

by Shirousword



Category: Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Romance, Will be multiple chapters, Will have a plot, after ubw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:55:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29821113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shirousword/pseuds/Shirousword
Summary: After the war, Shirou Emiya and Rin Tohsaka continue their relationship and prepare for their trip to London. But their inability to recognise a certain someone’s pain and suffering finally catches up with them.
Relationships: Emiya Shirou/Tohsaka Rin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is the first fanfic I’ve ever tried to write, so please do excuse any mistakes you do see, and any criticism you wanna throw my way is more than welcome.
> 
> I hope I have managed to keep the characters mostly in character and do tell me any places you think I’ve messed up.
> 
> Also pre warning, I’m playing it fast and loose with the magic system, I’ll stick to the pre established rules where I can, but later on I’m most likely going to be breaking a few, I’ll try my best to justify why it works in my own way, but if that’s something that annoys you, too bad I guess . 
> 
> Any way enjoy chapter 1

Chapter 1

It had been one month since the holy grail war almost spelled the end of Fuyuki city. One month since Shirou had valiantly faced the arrogant king of heroes and forcefully pulled him down from the proverbial Throne he sat on, far above everyone else. One month since the boys life had been able to return to _normal_.

Shirou was on his way to school after having breakfast with Sakura and Taiga, both of whom had to leave early due to teaching responsibilities and archery club practice respectively. He was just enjoying the morning breeze, checkered scarf around his neck and schoolbag in hand, as he leisurely strolled to school. The morning was peaceful and calming. The boy felt completely serene.

Reaching the junction at the end of the street, he saw a figure clad in a red coat, with long, dark hair, struggling to keep herself upright. This scene was accompanied by a wave of fatigue spreading throughout Shirou’s entire body, almost as if he hadn’t gotten enough rest the night before. He quickly realised however, that the exhaustion he was feeling was not actually his. It was flowing into him, courtesy of the person currently struggling to keep her eyes open.

Ever since Shirou’s clash with the king of heroes and Rin transplanting a part of her magic crest onto him, his face still flushed at the thought of what they did ‘that night’, the red headed magus and the Tohsaka head shared a strong connection of sorts. First and foremost, their mana pools were linked allowing them to sense each other’s mana supply and pull from them if the need arose. Which was a crucial part of their strategy to defeat Gilgamesh, allowing Shirou to be able to invoke his reality marble when his own mana was insufficient. However as a consequence of the link between the two, they were able to feel the emotions of one another and get a general sense for where the other was at any given time.

Said connection was the reason why Rin was able to identify Shirou’s approaching form as with her eyes currently closed and head leaned back against a lamppost , almost as if she was trying to fall asleep standing up, she certainly hadn’t seen him walking towards her. As Shirou reached the yawning teen, he was greeted by a soft, “Morning, Emiya-kun.” Whispered in a raspy tone as she tried to blink away the weariness in her eyes, in an attempt to liven up a bit.  
“What are you doing here Tohsaka?” The auburn haired boy replied, confused as to why she was up so early, as he was used to her only just getting out of bed around this time, destroying at least two alarm clocks in the process.  
“Waiting for you, obviously.”  
“Why?”  
“Does a girl need a reason to walk to school with her _boyfriend_?” Rin replied, obviously properly awake now, the corners of her mouth upturning into a mischievous grin.

Shirou’s eyes widened, as his cheeks started to burn. He still wasn’t used to actually being in a relationship with the idol he admired for so long from afar, and Rin, never being one to give up an opportunity to tease the poor boy, pounced.  
“Don’t you want to spend time with your girlfriend Emiya-kun?” Rin teased, pretending to be hurt .  
“Of course I do.” The boy replied honestly. A little colour was still visible on his cheeks as his left hand rubbed the back of his neck.

His completely honest reply caught the girl off guard, causing a red tinge to spread across her face. She turned away with an adorable little _‘hmph!’_ in an attempt to hide her embarrassment. This made Shirou smile fondly.  
_‘You’re too cute sometimes Tohsaka_.’  
The girl had already started walking ahead, but not before calling for him over her shoulder, “you coming or what?”  
“Yea.” He shouted back as he jogged up until he fell in line walking next to her.

Rin, eager to change the subject to hide her own embarrassment , asked, “how has your studying been going?”  
The girl had started to tutor him properly in magecraft since the war had ended. She wanted to improve his understanding of magic as much as possible in order to adequately prepare him for London. She’d had some success so far, and she was optimistic that by the time they graduated she would be able to transform the boy from a complete novice into a halfway decent magus. “ I need you to have completely read those books I gave you about the basics. I want to move onto improving your reinforcement soon and I don’t want you to not understand the fundamentals.” She lectured, seemingly having switched into ‘sensei’ mode.

“ I get more homework from you than I do from school, you know that?”  
“Don’t blame me for being a diligent teacher. I just want you to fully understand what I teach you, so you won’t do something stupid, like you know, _trying to turn your own spinal cord into a damn circuit_.” The glare that he received after that comment was less than pleasant.  
“I apologised for that already, and it’s not like I knew any better.” Shirou pouted, crossing his arms in a form of defiance. “It could have killed you, idiot!” Rin whirled on him jabbing her in finger in his general direction. Shirou raised his hands, trying to calm her temper.  
“Well I’m not stupid enough to do something so reckless now.” If The unimpressed look the jewelled magus sent his way didn’t tell him she didn’t buy it, then the surge of disapproval currently running through his veins from there connection did.

Their banter continued for the remainder of the journey to school. As soon as they reached the front gate however, all heads within a fifty foot radius snapped towards them. The students began to gossip quietly amongst one another. No doubt wondering what Homurahara’s brownie was doing with the school idol so early in the morning. The pair had managed to somewhat hide their interactions from the rest of the school, barring Issei, by using the roof as their own place to meet up. So seeing them walking together was still quite a surprise for the student body.

Their gazes were oppressive, he felt like caged animal being appraised. Some were envious, some where angry and some were just surprised. Never the less, he and Rin were certainly the centre of attention.

Absentmindedly, his left hand come up to cradle the back of his neck. He shot a sidewards glance towards Rin, only to see her completely unfazed by the onlookers. In fact it was almost as if they weren’t there to her.  
‘ _She must be used to it by now. There’s never time she’s not being looked at_.’ Shirou sighed inwardly, getting a glimpse of the pressure the school idol was constantly under.

The heavy atmosphere disappeared as soon as the duo entered the front door to the school, and everyone else went about their day as normal.  
“How do you deal with that all the time?” Shirou asked his companion.  
“You get used to it. Anyway you’ll have to get used it, after all you are the homurahara’s idol’s boyfriend.” She uttered with a sly smirk, causing the boys face to flare up crimson. He turned his gaze away from her as she simply giggled to her self.

He and Rin were in separate classes, so once he had walked her to her own, and another round of teasing courtesy of the witch he called a partner, he made his way towards his, but not without taking a pitstop at the student council office. Inside, issei was sat at the head of the empty table, sifting through some papers. He looked stressed.  
“Emiya, good morning come in.” He said with a strained smile. Shirou entered and took a seat. There were about ten minutes before class started, so he reasoned Issei must have been trying to squeeze in some extra work.  
“Rough day at the office?” The red head joked, in an attempt to lighten the mood.  
Issei simply sighed, “ Trying to budget the school clubs is a nightmare, no matter what I do at least one club is never happy.”  
“Yea…heard about that from Tohsaka, apparently Mitsuzuri wasn’t very happy with the budget cut to the archery club.” At the mention of his girlfriend’s name Issei immediately scowled.  
“ I still don’t understand what you see in her, that foul vixen.” Issei was one of the few people who knew about their relationship, as Rin found it was a rather amusing way to tease the class president and due to him already having a distaste for Rin Tohsaka, Issei didn’t much approve of their relationship.Shirou cringed.  
“ she’s really not that bad once you get to know her.” He tried to defend. Issei simply let out a grunt of annoyance.  
“ I’ll take your word for it then, as I have no intention of getting to know her any better than I already do. Anyway, class is gonna start soon, we’d better get going. Oh by the way, Emiya, there’s a broken chair I wondering if you could repair. Saves wasting any more of the schools already limited budget. Come by at lunch if you’ve got time.”  
“ sure I’ll fix it. Shouldn’t take me long anyway.” And with that the two boys made their way to class.

Once lunch rolled around Shirou headed back to the student council room and helped Issei with the chair he had asked him too. It only took a bit of super glue and a small piece of wood to rebalance the broken leg. He didn’t even have to use his magic. Once he had finished that and said his farewell to Issei, the boy made his way towards the stairwell which led to the roof to meet up with Rin at their usual spot.

He was stopped about half way to the stairwell however, when he ran into Sakura. “Senpai.” She smiled warmly at him, before looking towards where he was headed. “Where are you going?” She asked innocently. _‘Damn this relationship is getting harder to hide, between the attention from other students and Rin seemingly not caring about trying to hide anymore this is getting exhausting_.’ He figured however there was no harm in telling Sakura where he was going, her and Rin were close after all weren’t they? At least as close as Rin allowed herself to be to a fellow student.  
“I’m heading to the roof to meet with Tohsaka for lunch.” Shirou replied, the tips of his ears warming up considerably.  
“Oh, ok.” The smile on Sakura’s face faltered ever so slightly, betraying her attempts at hiding how she felt. Luckily for her however Shirou didn’t seem to notice her slip up.

“Anyway senpai, I just wanted to tell you I won’t be able to come over for dinner tonight. I’m going to the hospital again to take care of Nii-san.” Sakura said, her smile having regained its usual warmth. Ever since the grail war ended and Shinji had been admitted to hospital, Sakura had been taking care of him. And weather due to his traumatic experiences with being the core of the grail, his relationship with Gilgamesh or something else, he seemed to have been humbled and had lost a lot of the ego he once had. Apparently he had stopped his abuse of his sister and simply let her take care of him. Shirou was happy for Sakura, despite the physical punishment Shinji had once put her through, she seemed genuinely happy about having a closer relationship with her brother.  
“Sure Sakura, no problem.”  
“Thanks anyway senpai, see you later.” And with that she ran off towards the cafeteria.

Shirou hauled himself up the set of stairs which led to the roof, only to be met by the face of a very annoyed Rin. “Where have you been?” She asked with a pointed glare.  
“Would you believe me I said I was fixing a chair?” He replied sarcastically. Rin let out a sigh of defeat, now knowing full well what had kept him from meeting her.  
“ you do know you can say no once in a while right?”  
“ Yea, but Issei needed help, and it didn’t take long so I don’t see the harm in offering my assistance.”  
“That’s not the point.” She threw him an irritated glance.  
“If I can help out I don’t see the problem in doing so.” Shirou replied, with a little more force this time.  
“ I’ll get rid of that martyr complex one day.” Rin huffed to herself, her annoyance with his late appearance having been quelled when she heard the reason why. How could she be angry at him when he was just being..well him. It was more the principle behind why he was late, than the actual reason she was annoyed with. So she let it go for now.  
“What was that?” Shirou questioned.  
“Nothing!” Rin replied, a little colour in her cheeks.  
“ Anyway, after school we’ll head straight to your place. I’ll finish going over the basics with you tonight so that tomorrow we can start on improving your reinforcement like I mentioned before. Sound good?” Rin questioned before starting to eat her lunch.  
“Sure, Sakura won’t be coming over either today, so it’ll mean less people to cook for I guess.” Shirou mentioned, without really thinking about it. Rin froze when she heard her sisters name. She had yet to tell Shirou about her and Sakura’s relationship, so as far as he was aware they were just friends, nothing more.

Shirou didn’t miss the way her body seemed to halt its movement when he finished his sentence, he couldn’t figure out the reason though.  
“You okay, Tohsaka?” He asked, his brow furrowed in concern.  
“Yea..yea just didn’t get enough sleep last night is all, I’m still a little tired.”  
“ don’t over exert yourself too much then, it’s not good for your body.” He advised while continuing to eat his meal.  
Her mouth turned upward at that comment, filling her with a sense of warmth. ‘ _Stupid caring Shirou_.’  
Rin leaned her head to side so it was resting on his shoulder, causing him to stop midway as he was going to bite into his sandwich.  
“What’s wrong Emiya-kun? Flustered?” The girl asked, her eyes closed, a grin forming on her face.  
“Tch..you’re so evil sometimes.” Shirou muttered, finishing his food, but making no move to try and remove her head from his side.

Rin may enjoy teasing him, but she enjoyed moments like this just as much, where she could revel in his company, reminding her that she no longer had to be alone, like she was before the war. She had someone she could let her guard down and be herself around. Someone with who she could just enjoy herself without having try to put on a mask.  
‘ _Thank you. For caring about me_.’ She whispered so quietly it was inaudible to Any one but her. She burrowed closer to her boyfriend, just enjoying the moment. Allowing herself to revel in his presence.

Once school has ended, the pair met up and made their way over towards the Emiya household. After settling in, they decided it would be better to start preparing dinner, as Taiga would be coming over soon and so the magecraft lesson was best left until she had gone home, or was at least out of the way. He and Rin both put on an apron and got to work.

The English Teacher came barrelling through the front door around ten minutes later. She was greeted by the sight of the two teens in the kitchen preparing dinner, standing awfully close together. Rin coming over for dinner was not an uncommon occurrence for Taiga, however that did little to quell her suspicions.  
Shirou was the first one to turn around and greet her, “Fuji-nee, dinner will be done shortly.” They’d both dropped attempting to refer to each other formally ever in front of Rin ever since She made a habit of coming over, it was far too taxing and the girl didn’t seem to care either way.  
“ Mrs Fujimura.” The girl greeted the older woman with a smile and a Curt nod of the head.  
“Ah Tohsaka-san, what are you doing here?” The short haired woman questioned. “Emiya-Kun kindly invited me over for dinner, as he has a test coming up he needs my help to study for.” She said with a plain smile on her face that left no room for an argument. Taiga sighed and relented, _‘I guess it isn’t so bad, she’s a good girl and she’s helping Shirou study. I’ve seen her around here enough to trust the two of them together I suppose_.’

After dinner was over Shirou and Rin had gone into a separate room to have their magecraft lesson, unbeknownst to Taiga, while she sat in the main room flicking through TV channels.

_Fuyuki gas companies face major accusations over the recent gas leak incidents and could be charged with…._

_Click_

_The weather is surprisingly warm for this time of year, as for the complete forecast we will go over to our weath….._

_Click_

_Lots of cicadas and other types of bugs have been popping up all over the city, the frequent rate at which people are reporting hearing them or sighting them is quite abnormal to say….._

_Click_

“Arrrrrggg… There’s nothing to watch!” The lazy school teacher roared out. She glanced at the clock, six in the evening. _‘I should get going I’ve got papers I need graded by tomorrow_.’

Reluctantly, she forced her body off of her comfortable seat in front of the tv and set about saying good bye to Shirou, making sure He and Rin were not up to anything suspicious. Taiga ambled towards the guests room the two teens were studying in and opened the door. Inside she saw a rather exhausted looking Rin Tohsaka lying in the spare bed, the quilt covering her up. Sleeping. Off to the side she saw Shirou reading over a book, with a small smile on his face. ‘ _Oh there’s definitely something going on between these two_.’ Before the irate teacher could explode however, she was noticed by the red headed boy, who held his finger in front of his mouth in a hushing gesture. He got out of his chair and quietly made his way over towards where the Taiga was standing.

Once he reached Her he spoke only in a low, whispering tone. “ Fuji-new she’s exhausted, let her sleep a little longer.” He most likely already knew what his surrogate sister had come to do.  
“She’s been sleepy since this morning, and it’s not like she hasn’t stayed over before. If she wakes up early enough I’ll walk her home but if not she’s staying here.” Shirou somewhat demanded.

Usually Taiga would reprimand him for such a haughty tone, but seeing as the boy in front of her was just looking out for the girls well-being, and it not being the first time said girl had stayed the night as he had said, she relented.  
“Fine,” the woman replied in a hushed tone, “she can stay, but no funny business you hear me?” The tiger roared silently at him.  
“Thanks Fuji-nee.” He let out a sigh of relief. Taiga had knew him long enough that he wouldn’t try to do anything to the dozing girl. And he wouldn’t, not tonight, he wanted her to rest. However what Taiga didn’t know was that what she was hoping to try and prevent had already come to pass a month ago. The night before the war ended.

“Anyway Shirou I’ll be going now.”  
She informed him as they approached the front entrance to the house. “ also I won’t be able to come over in the morning, I’ve got to head to school early. There’s some archery club business I need to sort through.” She flung the front door open and took a step out.  
“Well at least I’ll get to cook in peace for once.” The boy muttered under his breath.  
“That’s not very nice Shirou.” She mocked. Her frown then flipped into a huge smile. “ see you tomorrow shirou!” She waved her scooter rearing off into the distance.  
“See you Fuji-nee.” He uttered to himself before heading back inside.  
As he closed the door he failed to notice the sound of chirping insects that could seemingly be heard from outside the bounded field around his household.

Nor did he notice what appeared to be dark soulless eyes that observed his house from the shadows of the night sky. A quiet laugh could be heard echoing around the empty street, the cackle of a man who should be long since dead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s chapter 2, again, if you’ve got any criticisms please do post them in the comments weather that be grammar mistakes or characters being OOC.
> 
> Also these first few chapters are most likely going to be quite slow and a lot of build up, I don’t want to rush this story.
> 
> Enjoy chapter 2

Chapter 2

_Interlude: Sakura  
_

After school, Sakura began her journey towards the hospital building, where her currently injured older brother was staying. As she was walking , the purple haired girl had a lot time to herself. Time to ponder, Specifically about the person she was going to visit.

Her and her brother had always had a complicated relationship. He had tormented her sadistically for years. He abused her mentally and physically. Used her for his own amusement, even went as far as to violate her repeatedly. She couldn’t forgive him for that, she never would. He’d made her life a living hell while staying at the Matou estate. She was already forced to endure an inconceivable amount of pain and suffering because of the disgusting crest worms ravaging the inside of her body, and he did nothing but add to her misfortune, only serving to make her world far darker than it already was.

He wasn’t always like that though. When she first met him, upon arriving at that cursed house for the first time, he simply ignored her. It didn’t seem like he felt any particular way about her. He was far more focused on his study of magecraft. He was even nice to her sometimes. It only changed when the boy found out she would be the one to become the next Matou heir, and not him. The blue haired boy grew hateful and from then on he scorned his sister at every opportunity. He wanted to make her suffer for taking away his dream.

In his eyes, she was everything he wanted to be, a talented mage with a high number of magic circuits, the next heir to the withering Matou bloodline.

 _someone special_.

He was envious of her, and that envy gave way to a inferiority complex which only served to further fracture his already warped mental state.

The most tragic thing however, was that Sakura understood his feelings almost too well. She knew what it was like to look at someone and see them embody everything you aren’t. She knew what it was like to be envious of something others possessed or feeling like something precious to you had been stolen from you. She was forced to gaze upon the person who embodied all these traits almost everyday. That person was Rin Tohsaka.

The school idol.

_Her own sister._

To Sakura, Rin was everything she wished to be. She radiated confidence and charm, she shone so brightly she may as well have been the sun herself. It made the already broken girl feel even more inadequate. Her sister was more radiant than She ever thought possible, compared to her, Sakura felt like a dimly lit candle, struggling to keep its own flame burning.

And that bright light that was her sister was what kept Sakura hopeful for years. She wished that she would come save her. To Sakura, her sister was powerful, she thought she was strong enough to liberate her from the hell she had endured for so long. So often She would dream about Rin, the life they could have had if they were never separated, and the few memories she had left of the two of them from before they were torn apart. Unfortunately, it seemed like that was little more than wishful thinking. After a few years she came to the realisation that she had no saviour, she was doomed to suffer at the hands of her grandfather for the rest of her days.

Sakura thought it must have been this distorted sense of relatability she had with her older brother that kept her still caring for him, even when he was at his worst. She saw a lot of herself in Shinji, as disgusting as that made her feel. In Sakura’s eyes, they were both bad people. However, ever since the end of the Holy Grail War, her brother seemed different than he was before.

He’d mellowed out ever since he was admitted to hospital, she no longer felt that he would try to lord his huge ego over others to belittle them, in order to make himself feel substantial. Whatever had happened to him during the Grail War had forced her older brother to do a great deal of self reflection, changing how he viewed himself and the people around him. The violet haired teen believed that whatever revelations her sibling had reached about himself were for the better.

Sakura entered the hospital and made her way over to the reception. She politely asked the woman behind the desk if she could visit her brother, was given permission, and then proceeded to make her way towards the hospital room where he brother was being cared for.

As she approached the door, she gently pulled the handle down and opened it, making her way inside.

“Good afternoon, Nii-san.” Sakura greeted, in the kindest tone she could muster. The blue haired boy was lying in bed, gaze turned toward the ceiling. He gave her a sideways glance, responding by uttering only a single word, her name, “Sakura.”

Conversation for the two was still extremely awkward, to say the least. Each time they tried to strike up a conversation it seemed as if there was an enormous weight that hung over them. They found it difficult to speak openly with one another due to all that had transpired between them in the past. However, when Sakura was able to wear her brother down and talk to him normally for awhile, she enjoyed it.

She could catch a glimpse of the brother she could have had if not for their grandfather’s torment.

She tried to think of a way to start a conversation. She didn’t really know her him that well, she had no idea about his likes or dislikes as they were never really close, so there was nothing to really talk about.

“Do you know when you’ll be able to go back to school?” Sakura questioned, trying to open with a something simple.

“Probably some time in the next few days.” Shinji replies matter of factly.

“Oh..that’s good then.”

“I guess.”

She sat in silence for a while pondering how to approach him. She’d brought a readily prepared lunch to give him due to his distaste for the hospital food. She’d noticed when she had visited a few times before and he mentioned it to her in passing once, on one of the days she’d managed to get him to talk a little. She reached into her bag and took it out, handing it to her brother in the bed beside her.

“I brought you this lunch, you said you didn’t like the food here much, so I thought you’d like this.” Sakura explained with a caring smile on her face. Shinji simply stared at the lunch box currently resting on his lap without saying anything. The silence stretched on for what felt like hours until he finally mustered up the courage to break it. The caring gesture from his sister pushing him to say what he thought he couldn’t.

“ _Why?”_ Was the only word he uttered.

“W..what do you mean Nii-san?”

Shinji clenched his fists, grinding his teeth.

“Why are pretending to care about me? After everything I’ve….is it pity?” He finally dared to approach the elephant in the room.

“I’m not pretending.” She stated with conviction.

“I’m taking care of you because I want to.”

“ _Why?_ I haven’t done anything to make you give a damn about me. All I’ve done is hurt you. So why?” His hands were balled into fists atop his legs, on either side of the lunchbox. His voice sounded more strained.

“Because you’re my brother. And I’m the only person who understands what you’ve been through, so despite everything, I still find it hard not to care about you.” Shinji’s eyes grew wide as he processed her words.

She _cared_ about him. Her abuser, her tormenter, her _violator._ After everything he’d done to her, all the pain he’d put her through, she somehow still managed to care. Hell, she made him a _damn_ lunchbox. “Tch…so you’ve just forgotten everything then.” He spoke rather sardonically.

“No..no. I can’t do that. I can’t…but I want to move on. You’ve changed Nii-San. I might not be able to forgive you. But I want to get to know a new you. Someone who’s changed for the better.” She was whispering at this point, clearly this was not an easy topic to talk about for her either, but it needed to be said.

Shinji just stared, confusion written all over his face.

“You’re a different person now, so I hope I can get to know the brother I wish I could have had all this time.”

Sakura knew what she was saying was something he didn’t deserve. She knew he would never be this perfect brother who did everything he could to help her. But she thought he could be better than what he was and hoped that her and that new person could get along.

Realising what she had said, Sakura only felt the air grow even more tense. She decided that there was a good place to leave it for today. She thought he probably had a lot of things running through his mind.

“I’ll be going now Nii-San, enjoy the lunch.” She gave him a warm smile before standing up and exiting the room quietly.

Shinji simply stared at her as she left. He turned his gaze to the Lunch box on his lap, reaching his hand towards it to open it. However, his hand stopped before it reached its destination.

At that instant he was crushed beneath an enormous amount of guilt and self loathing, so heavy he couldn’t even move his hand. He’d been starting to feel it ever since she’d started to care for him in the hospital, and that guilt only grew more substantial the more she visited.

While he was inside the grail, acting as its core, Shinji Matou experienced an unimaginable amount of agony. He was at the very centre of all the worlds evils, and felt everything it felt.

Hate.

Suffering.

Anguish.

Torment.

He experienced it all through the grail. The torture he experienced at the hands of that abomination changed something in him. It made him realise what true suffering really was, along with how painful life can truly be.

And every form of pain and suffering he’d experienced inside the grail he saw in Sakura. When he looked at her, he no longer saw the useless bitch who stole his dream away. That was a fantasy he created, something his fragile mind had come up with to protect his own ego.

Instead he now saw a truly broken girl, one who had almost nothing left to live for. It was probably the first time he saw his sister for what she actually was, and not the warped illusion his mind had conjured up. And the guilt he felt knowing he was the cause of all that pain smothered him completely.

It was deserved however, he knew this. He knew he couldn’t be forgiven. He didn’t deserve such a luxury. But he swore he would try to change for the better. He couldn’t erase what pain he’d caused his sister in the past, but he could try his best to reduce it going forward. He’d be forced to live with what he’d done to her, and he knew he had no right to complain. It was Sakura who had to live with the consequences of what he’d done, while all he had to do was bare with guilt of his own making, it was hardly fair.

Shinji opened the lunchbox, he wanted to reject it, he _tried_ to reject it. It wasn’t meant for him, it was something he didn’t deserve. But if he rejected her help, he’d only be hurting her further. She said this was what she wanted and he had no right to deny her that, no matter how undeserving he thought he was.

After finishing the lunch and placing it on the bedside table, the male Matou sibling rested his head back on the pillow of the hospital bed and allowed himself to be swallowed up in thought.

“ _Sakura, I really am sorry.”_ He whispered. They were words that were meaningless if actually spoken to the person they were meant for . They changed nothing. They fixed nothing. It was a pointless apology that would accomplish nothing. He couldn’t erase what he’d done. But it was something he needed to tell himself, finally put his new feelings about his sister into words. They needed to be said if he wanted to move forward.

_Interlude out_

Sunlight streamed into the Emiya household through the windows that lined the courtyard, signifying it was early morning, around seven o’ clock.

Rin slowly opened her eyes, still feeling quite drowsy. Surprisingly, she had woken up on her own, without the assistance of an alarm clock, or Shirou. She glanced down to find she wasn’t in her own bed, instead she was lying in the guest bed she slept in while she’d stayed at Shirou’s house during the Grail War.

‘ _I must have fallen asleep while we were studying yesterday.’_ Rin thought as she sat up in the bed, only to find her hair was no longer tied into her usual twin tails. She glanced over towards the side table only to find her black ribbons neatly folded on top of each other, next to the book she had given Shirou to read the night before.

‘ _That idiot.’_ She muttered, her voice filled with fondness. She got out of bed and grabbed the spare change of clothes that was still left from her previous stay, along with her ribbons, and headed towards the bathroom to wash off. After a nice, refreshing bath, the girl clad herself in the second set of clothes, forgoing her ribbons until her hair had dried, and made her way towards the main room.

Astonishingly, she found the room empty. She had expected to find the redhead already preparing breakfast, but instead was greeted by a silent, empty room. She really should have realised he wasn’t there, their link told her as much, but it was still far too early for Rin to be paying attention to such a thing.

‘ _He must have overslept. That’s weird, he never does that. ’_

A lightbulb then went off in Rin’s head, she had an idea. She could make breakfast instead. After seeing what he’d done for her the night before she thought it was only fair she repaid her debt. Besides, Shirou cooked everyday, he deserved a little break at least once in a while.

The brunet set about cooking breakfast, donning an apron and preparing all the necessary ingredients. Shirou may have been the one known for his culinary skills, but she herself was still an excellent cook.

Around ten minutes later, Shirou strolled into the main room, a towel around his neck and his wet hair still yet to be brushed. Evidently he’d had the same idea as her.

“Good morning, Tohsaka, I’m surprised your awake this early.” He greeted with a smile as he approached the kitchen counter, using the towel to try and dry his hair off.

“I fell asleep early yesterday so I got more than enough rest. I’m more surprised at you oversleeping.” The girl responded without turning away from what she was currently doing in the kitchen.

“Yeah..I stayed up a little late last night going over that book you gave me, I think I’ve got most of it down now.”

“Good, we can move on to reinforcement after school then.” Rin said, smiling to herself. Had he stayed up late to try and squeeze in a little more studying? She really did appreciate how dedicated he was to trying to improve his magecraft, he made for an excellent apprentice.

“Sounds good, need any help with breakfast?” He offered clearly eager to get in the kitchen.

“No, just relax for today. I’ll bring it over once it’s done.” And with that the boy made his way over to the dinner table, despite grumbling slightly about not getting to cook, and sat down. Switching on the TV, he looked for something to watch to pass the time.

After a further ten minutes Rin brought over the meal she had prepared. She’d made steamed rice, miso soup, grilled fish and a few side dishes, such as tsukemono and nori. She laid them out on the table and then, after removing her apron, sat down opposite Shirou.

“Itadakimasu.” With that the pair dug into their meal.

They ate in comfortable silence for while simply enjoying the well made meal and the peaceful morning. Breakfast wasn’t always this calm, what with Taiga’s seemingly boundless energy making every morning a lively one. So it was nice for the two to be able to enjoy a more peaceful morning.

After finishing his soup, Shirou looked up and finally noticed Rin’s temporary new hair style. She still hadn’t put the ribbons back in her hair.

“Where’s your usual black ribbons?” He asked.

“Oh…I left them out while my hair dried, I’ll put them in once we leave for school.”

“Have you ever thought about changing the colour?” Shirou asked somewhat randomly.

“Trying to give me fashion advice are we now, Emiya-kun?” Rin teased, a Cheshire Cat like grin forming on her face.

“No, no…” Shirou chuckled, “ I just remember seeing a picture of you in your house with purple ones. I was just wondering why I’ve never seen you wear those ones.” The instant he finished his sentence Shirou could tell by the girls face he’d hit a sensitive topic. This was further compounded by the sudden melancholic feeling he felt flood his body through their connection.

Rin’s grin immediately dropped from her face as her eyes widened a fraction. Her expression morphed into one of a sad smile filled with sorrow . “I…I don’t have them anymore. I gave them away to someone special when I was younger.” She whispered, with a somber tone.

“Sounds like they were someone important to you.” Shirou spoke softly. He knew what they were talking about was something extremely important to the girl. So as much as he wanted to know what sort of memory could bring her down so much, he knew he shouldn’t pry. She’d tell him about it in depth when she felt ready to.

“They are, I gave them the ribbons as a parting gift, something for them to remember me by.”Rin replied, her gaze turned towards the table. It was clear to Shirou she was wrapped up in thinking about the person who this story involved.

The two teens then fell into silence for a while. Shirou didn’t really know what to say, he wanted to support her the best he could, but he didn’t really know how to get her to open up.

“Sorry for dragging that up Tohsaka, but if you ever want to talk about it I’ll listen to you, you know.”

“I know and I will tell you, I promise, just not now.”

They finished their meal without another word, both too deep in thought to try and strike up another conversation.

Once they were both finished Shirou stood up, gathered up the used dishes and took them over to the kitchen sink where he proceeded to clean them. He rinsed the dishes thoroughly and then placed them on a drying rack. The boy then turned around, drying his hands with a kitchen cloth, to see Rin still sitting at the table staring into space solemnly. He decided to say something to try and distract her from whatever she was thinking about, as he could tell from her expression it wasn’t very pleasant.

“You said we’re gonna be working on my reinforcement magic today?” He asked as he approached the table. Her eyes widened as she was snapped out of her revery. She blinked twice before turning her attention towards her boyfriend.

“ yeah we are. You can already somewhat do it, so I’m hoping it’ll be a little easier to improve something you already have an understanding of rather than teach you something new.” Rin explained, seemingly more focused on their training than whatever was eating her up inside moments prior.

“So how do I even try to improve it? Like just apply it to my body and get used to it?”

“Basically, and the best way to do that is in a fight, where your forced to use it at your maximum efficiency.”

“So who am I gonna be fighting then?” Shirou asked without really thinking.

“Me, obviously.” Rin stated matter of factly.

“What! No I can’t fight you, I don’t want to hurt you!”

“ I know, I know. Which is why I’ll be the one doing the attacking, I just want you to use reinforcement the best you can to protect yourself and hold out as long as possible.”

“So all I have to do is defend? You know I’ve fought servants right? I know your strong but are you sure you can push me far enough to strain my reinforcement?”

“Oh Shirou…you have no idea how strong I really am.” Rin said with a slight edge to her tone.

‘ _Oh…she called me Shirou, she never does that. Maybe I am in over my head slightly.’_ The boy thought to himself. He suddenly felt quite anxious.

“Don’t worry for now Emiya-Kun.” His vixen of a girlfriend reassured, she could be really terrifying when she wanted to be. 

“Okay…well I guess we can use the dojo after school, Fuji-nee and Sakura shouldn’t be coming over for dinner, they both said they were busy.”

“Great. We can take as long as we want then.” Rin smiled happily, however there was a sharpness to her features that told Shirou he was in for trouble. He still felt like he was not prepared for what was to come.

After school that day, the two teens met up outside the school gates and left toward Shirou’s home.

“You ready Emiya-kun?” Rin whispered sweetly.

“Yeah.” Shirou felt himself start to sweat nervously. He was honestly still quite worried, he knew Rin was strong, but he’d kept up with servants. He didn’t want to accidentally hurt her. And he was still unsure of her ability to really push his limits. Granted Archer had been severely weakened when he fought him, but still, surely she wouldn’t be able to really test his limits. Right?

He was very wrong. When they got home from school, the two teens changed out of their school uniforms and into more appropriate clothing. Simple sweat pants and a short sleeved top for Shirou, and slim fit leggings and a tank top for Rin, a well as tying her hair up into a pony tail. As they began to spar, Shirou quickly realised how outclassed he really was. Any other fight he’d had before this, he’d had a crucial advantage he didn’t realise he was so reliant on. Swords. They were everything to him.

His offence.

His defence.

A projectile.

A melee weapon.

He used them for everything, and so when he found himself suddenly without them, he felt like a two year old who’d been tossed in the deep end of a pool without a float.

He knew he couldn’t use blades here, as that would defeat the purpose of the lesson. To improve his reinforcement capabilities on his own body. He just didn’t know how incapable he actually was at unarmed combat.

When they took their stances he began to raise his hands into a guard that covered his face in order to protect from an oncoming attack.

Before he could bring them all the way up however, Rin charged. Her circuits fired up as mana began to flow, fluorescent green lights covering her entire body. She kicked off of the floor with extreme speed and immediately threw a punch towards Shirou’s stomach, while simultaneously using her other hand to guard her face in case of an oncoming counter.

The attack came before the boy could even process what had happened, he hadn’t managed to reinforce his body in time to soften blow, nor lower his hands toward his stomach to block. Instead he took it head on.

It felt like his torso had just been struck by a sledgehammer. The sheer force of the hit knocked him back around ten feet, and onto his knees. He found it hard to breathe as he tried to regain composure.

“Are you trying to kill me?” His asked, while trying to regulate his breathing. He was finding it hard to not throw up at the moment.

“This won’t be effective if I don’t use force. But maybe I should have let you use your own reinforcement first. Sorry.” Rin apologised, looking a little worried. She probably realised she went too hard too fast.

The red headed magus stood back up and closed his eyes. He focused on his magic circuits, allowing his od to flow through them as he activated his own reinforcement magic. He was careful to only use his own mana and not to pull from Rin’s mana pool through their pact, as he needed to be able to use reinforcement without relying on her as a power source.

After he opened his eyes, a soft green glow emanated from the outline of his circuits around his body, proof that they were in use. He could feel the strain on his circuits already, and he hadn’t even done anything yet, just this level of reinforcement was already a challenge for him to maintain for any extended period of time.

“I don’t know how long I’m gonna be able to keep this up for.” Shirou admitted, knowing he wouldn’t last as long as his girlfriend, as she could probably keep this up for far longer than he could. She just had far more mana.

“Don’t worry, just use it for as long as possible, the more you use it the easier the strain on your body should be, and the less mana it should use up. Ready?”

“Lets go.”

The two empowered mages immediately rushed towards one another. He could tell from the get go she was faster, her reinforcement was superior to his in every way. But that didn’t matter to him, he needed to get through this to improve, to grow as a mage, and he was used to fighting people stronger than he was anyway.

As Rin closed the distance she used her left hand to throw a punch towards his stomach again, but this time he was prepared. He twisted his body to the side slightly and lowered arm to guard his abdomen. Seeing this, the female magus immediately launched a reinforced blow towards his head with her opposite hand, trying to take advantage of the fact the boy had shifted his guard to block the first attack. Shirou saw her second blow coming and barely managed to dip his head to the side to avoid the oncoming strike, as it rocketed past him, grazing his ear.

However his opponent wasn’t finished. She planted her left leg, raising her right in a kicking motion. Rin turned he left foot to add more rotational force to her strike as she aimed for the side of Shirou’s head. Her crescent kick missed his face by inches, as he’d managed to pull his head back just enough to avoid being struck. He could feel the wind left behind by her attack fly past his face, due to its sheer speed, rustling his hair as her foot flew past his head.

‘ _She’s relentless.’_ Shirou thought, as he readied himself for another attack. The instant her right leg was back on the ground the girl launched into another offence. She charged forward pulling her right fist back, ready to strike.

‘ _She’s telegraphing that attack too far in advance, it should be easy enough to Block.”_ The boy reasoned. He raised his arms to protect himself from the oncoming strike, however nothing ever came. Instead when the girl was in front of him she crouched down and used her leg to sweep Shirou off of his feet.

“The hell..” he yelped as he tumbled backward, losing his balance. This was the same attack she used against Caster. He hadn’t been expecting it because of her heavily telegraphed attack from before, which he now realised was a bluff. 

Taking advantage of the opening she’d created, Rin lunged forward, her left palm open ready to strike her foe’s chest. Despite being off balance, Shirou managed to use one of his arms to offset the blow, so it didn’t completely cave his chest in. However due to his poor footing, it still forced him backwards a couple feet and pushed him over onto his back.

He crashed into the floor with an audible groan. As he was about to raise his body off of the floor to return to the fight, he felt a weight settle on top of him. Rin had planted herself on top of his lower body, restricting his movement. She also had her right forearm against his neck, keeping him pinned, and her left hand planted above his head for Balance.

He tried to buck his hips to force her off, but she just tightened the grip of her legs around his body like a vice, making his effort pointless.

“ I give.” Shirou said raising his hands in defeat. Today he’d learned just how skilled she was in close quarters combat. How was it fair she was as skilled at this as she was at normal magecraft?

“Impressed, Emiya-kun?” Rin gloated, clearly proud of herself for her showcase of extreme skill.

“I am actually, I had no idea you were that strong in close quarters, I don’t stand a chance unless I have my swords. Who trained you?” Shirou questioned, genuinely impressed by her display of strength.

Rin’s face immediately soured at the question, “ ugh… you had to ask. If you want to know, it was Kirei, the damn bastard. One of the only things he was good for anyway.” Rin complained.

Shirou just laughed it off and left it there. Silence fell between the two, but neither made a move to get up. As the silence stretched on Shirou could feel warmth start to creep up his face as he realised what position they were both in. He noticed Rin’s reddened face as she was panting quite heavily, her face glistening with sweat. Her lips parted slightly, only serving to make her look even more mesmerising. He definitely felt a lot warmer now.

“Hey Tohsaka..could you get..” Before he could even finish she cut him off.

She lowered her mouth to his ear and whispered,

“What’s wrong, E-m-i-y-a-k-u-n?” 

He could feel her breath caress his ear, as he felt her body pressed up against his. He was definitely blushing now, yet he was still entranced by what she was doing.

The girl on top of him dared to go further, as she started to bite his ear ever so gently, eliciting a soft groan from him.

“Tohsaka..” before she could tease him any further however, as that’s what she was actually doing, Taiga burst into the dojo.

“Shirou! So this is where you were, what are you doing….” The woman simply started at the two teens in an extremely compromising position, their faces now turned towards her in complete surprise. Her reaction was most likely delayed due to what she was seeing. The two red faced teens on top of one another, in an extremely inappropriate position.

“Well Shit.” Was all Shirou managed to utter before his surrogate sister exploded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up way longer than I thought it was gonna be, but I feel it needed to be that length.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed and look forward to seeing the next chapter.


End file.
